office expressions.

musings from my experience at the home/office.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

the darndest things

For some reason, I escaped a lot of awkward comments and unsolicited belly rubs while I was pregnant, but now that our sweet babe has been on this green earth for almost 10 months, I have collected quite the assortment of uber weird/unwanted/well-intended comments:

"Your baby is so beautiful, I can't wait to see what her brother or sister looks like!"- our labor and delivery nurse immediately following Hazel's birth
"Oh thank you, but I think I can wait a little while to find out. Actually, I think I might still be bleeding?" -me

"Wow, she looks like a perfect blend of you and did THAT happen?!". -many people
"ummmmm..."-me (someone needs a review of the birds and the bees)

"When are you due?"-awkward co-werker
"I'm not."- me
"Oh, so you are just trying to lose the weight you gained. that sucks."- rude and awkward co-werker
"Sure."- me (actually, I've already lost all forty pounds that I gained, so thanks for reminding me I have extra werk to do!)

"You should just leave the baby here with us and take Lexi home with you, the baby will be fine without you". -well-intended family members and family friends
"Well, Lexi stopped breast-feeding a couple of years ago, but the baby hasn't. Are you lactating?" -me
"....awkward silence...."

I know people mean well and are just trying to relate, but sometimes I let my snarky mama bear out of her cave and just have to say something.

Public Service Announcement for the day...
Do the world a favor, friends: when in doubt about a woman's pregnancy status: say absolutely nothing. ever.
On a seasonal note, I am fairly certain our sweet baby will not be paying a visit to the Easter Bunny. Way too many of them are way too creepy...