A post to myself a year ago.

Some things about being a mom that I would tell my '8 month pregnant' self a year ago if I could:

My 'one month to go' cupcake on 4/15/12.

• You will get extremely swollen and the swelling won't go down until your baby is about three weeks old. Find some very stretchy flip-flops.
• You will get really great at picking things up with your toes. And doing things one-handed.
• You will quickly learn how to order items off a menu that can be eaten easily with one hand, without falling into your lap as you bring it to your mouth. 
• Breastfed babies can't get constipated...some babies just hold on to their poo.  So be READY when they do...
• Your brain will be consumed with 'to-do's', and it will be next to impossible to prioritize them correctly and get them all accomplished in between nursing, burping, rocking the babe to sleep...and starting the entire process all over again. But really, you ARE doing your most important to-do's when you nurse-burp-rock the baby to sleep.
• There will be days when it feels like a complete and utter miracle that you showered, put on make-up, and are wearing cute clothes that kind of fit. 
• Your baby will want to be 'walked'...so despite your own healing process...you will walk. You will wear a path in every patch of carpet and probably your backyard. And your baby will be happy and fall asleep. 
• You will find your self jiggling and swaying as if you were holding your baby, even when you are not. Like during worship in church or while chatting with a friend at a BBQ. That will eventually go away...but honestly, you can't help it for a while. 
• Your glorious pregnancy hair will all fall out, right around the three month mark when you are still feeling very fat and exhausted...and balding! But you're not balding, and you WILL start growing some spikey rebellious hairs along your hairline right around the six month mark. 
• You might start crying the first time you do something nice for yourself, like getting a haircut. When the stylist gives you the complementary scalp massage and shoulder rub and you feel like you could melt into a puddle on the floor of the salon...that's a clear sign you should have done this much sooner. 
• Chill out and enjoy maternity leave...your husband will find a job and your employer will werk with you and your desire to be part-time.
• Your body is going through an incredible process, trust your body and the process, even when you miss your 'due date' by a few days. It will all be ok, and you can't be pregnant forever!
• You will understand and love your mom on a completely new level. Moms are rockstars, and good moms are angels. 

neighborly

Some of my most fun childhood memories involve the neighbor kids on our street, romping through the woods, splashing in the creek, playing cowboys and indians across all of our yards. Fast forward to me as an adult, and I am not the most neighborly person I know. Perhaps it's because we have been renting our home and I don't feel truly settled here. Perhaps it's because I don't feel comfortable striking up random conversation in my pajamas. I'm just not sure what it is.

As I was putting the baby down for her nap this morning there was an authoritative knock on our door. Normally I hesitate to answer the door if I'm in my pj's or in the middle of something with the baby, but this time I felt like I needed to go see who it was. In the back of my mind, I was thinking "what if Lexi somehow got out and there is someone out front who is bringing her back?".

I opened the door to an employee with the Denver Police Department, showing me his id tag and asking me about a night a few weeks ago when the police were called to our neighbor's home due to a domestic disturbance complaint. I told him all I remembered was peeking out the window to see what loud engine was running on our street, because it had been there for a while and that's unusual.

Jake and I were watching a movie, and as I poked my head between the curtains, I saw two police cars and an ambulance parked in front of our neighbors house. The police were walking back to their cars and the ambulance drove away. I was mildly concerned, but I don't know either neighbor on that side of us very well and didn't want to be TOO nosy. We finished watching our movie and went on with our lives.

The police department employee at my front door said that our neighbor was claiming he was a victim of police brutality, and he wondered if I had heard or seen police beating him in their front yard that night. "Um, no??!!". That was my response. I didn't see anything like that and now I'm a little dumbfounded at the whole situation. He took down my name and number just so he could document speaking with me and went to go and talk to the other neighbors.

I feel bad in some ways that I don't know those neighbors well enough to even know much beyond the cars they drive and what their dogs look like. I feel bad that I am relieved I didn't see more that night. I am also not surprised because the little interaction I have had with the 'man of the house' next to us made me think he might have an anger problem due to lots of yelling inside their house.

In general, we live in a really great neighborhood and I have never felt unsafe. But sometimes I wonder at the type of neighbor I am and if I should have or could have done anything to help our neighbors on that night. On a happy note, I WAS being neighborly the other day when another young mom and I struck up a conversation and we realized we both werk from home, live a block away from each other, and have daughter who are one month apart. We went to 'book babies' at the library the other day with them and are looking forward to a walk with our new friends/neighbors tomorrow. Maybe our girls will have memories of playing outside and dressing up and climbing trees together!

And then there are THOSE neighbors...