the darndest things

For some reason, I escaped a lot of awkward comments and unsolicited belly rubs while I was pregnant, but now that our sweet babe has been on this green earth for almost 10 months, I have collected quite the assortment of uber weird/unwanted/well-intended comments:

"Your baby is so beautiful, I can't wait to see what her brother or sister looks like!"- our labor and delivery nurse immediately following Hazel's birth
"Oh thank you, but I think I can wait a little while to find out. Actually, I think I might still be bleeding?" -me

"Wow, she looks like a perfect blend of you and Jake...how did THAT happen?!". -many people
"ummmmm..."-me (someone needs a review of the birds and the bees)

"When are you due?"-awkward co-werker
"I'm not."- me
"Oh, so you are just trying to lose the weight you gained. that sucks."- rude and awkward co-werker
"Sure."- me (actually, I've already lost all forty pounds that I gained, so thanks for reminding me I have extra werk to do!)

"You should just leave the baby here with us and take Lexi home with you, the baby will be fine without you". -well-intended family members and family friends
"Well, Lexi stopped breast-feeding a couple of years ago, but the baby hasn't. Are you lactating?" -me
"....awkward silence...."

I know people mean well and are just trying to relate, but sometimes I let my snarky mama bear out of her cave and just have to say something.

Public Service Announcement for the day...
Do the world a favor, friends: when in doubt about a woman's pregnancy status: say absolutely nothing. ever.

On a seasonal note, I am fairly certain our sweet baby will not be paying a visit to the Easter Bunny. Way too many of them are way too creepy...

 

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well, I have actually completely forgotten about this blog for almost two months. seems as though the 'down time' in my life is changing shape, and I spend most 'nap time' opportunities trying to keep my basic to-do list going in my head. little things like...brush your teeth, put away the dishes, put dinner in the crock pot...and then the babe is wide awake!

it's also the middle of winter, and a lot of times I find myself prepping for opportunities to escape the house as soon as she is fed-changed-napped-etc. it does all of us good to get out of the house at least once a day.

some days i think back to my life at the land.of.cubicles and wonder how that 'me' from a few years ago did it all. i picture a multi-tasking wonder woman pounding out 50-60 hour werk weeks, who also happened to be freshly showered and nicely dressed in cute Ann Taylor and Banana Republic clothes. oh, and she wore high heels every day.

I may be pajama clad and bed-headed most days, but every precious moment with our babe and our family and doing what it takes to keep the house semi-picked up and our bellies full... is a true gift. there are definitely closets to be cleaned out, random piles of clothes that don't fit, and books that haven't been read lying around for months, and we'll get to them. but for now, I might be posting on here less and spending more time on my new version of participating in the day...with cozy slippers on my feet.

Traveling Mercies

During our Christmas vacation which traversed approximately four thousand miles in eleven days, I often thought of the phrase "traveling mercies". After a few google searches, this is the closest thing I found as far as a definition:

"Christians often wish people "travel mercies" when they are about to go on a trip. This expression appears to be rooted in the Southern Baptist tradition, and conveys "May God's mercy be with you and protect you from the inconveniences/difficulties/dangers associated with traveling." It is especially meaningful to hear when one is traveling for sad/stressful reasons or into danger, when "Have a good trip!", with its implication of enjoyment, just doesn't seem appropriate."

Especially as I prepared for the leg of our trip from Minnesota to New Jersey/Pennsylvania without Jake, I began to ask God for the kindness of strangers. Flying solo with a busy 7 month old and a few heavy suite cases isn't necessarily what I would call relaxing. I decided that no matter what happened during the hours in the air, I would focus my thoughts on the incredible feeling of touching down at our destination, knowing that loved ones were only a few minutes away.

I have to say, we did experience many travel mercies and the kindness of strangers. One woman in Philadelphia saw me jugging two shoulder bags, a stroller, and our little babe, and offered to walk with me to my gate. I was totally taken by surprise, as I thanked her and told her we were heading in the opposite direction from her. Every single flight attendent we met did what they could to chat with me, allowed me to walk the aisle of the plane to put our little babe to sleep for at least an hour en route to Philadelphia, and on our way home moved us to a row with an open seat so that we could spread out a little. (Genius thought of the day: Airlines should create a family friendly flight or section of the plane where families can let kids play on the floor, cry it out, and change diapers in a slightly larger bathroom).

There were many times when it was impossible to not feel self-conscious about bringing my babe on the plane. Some passengers openly glared at me, as if I was carrying a bomb onto the plane. Others scowled or commented loudly when they saw the proximity of their seat to "THAT BABY". I'm sure nursing her on the plane made some uncomfortable. Surprisingly, it was the younger kids who provided the most entertainment for our smiley babe, who currently believes that everyone in the world should smile back when she flashes her gummy grin. Many 'grandparent types' felt the need to tell Hazel what a good job she had done as we were exiting the plane.

All in all, we did it. We might have made a few enemies along the way (sorry to the college boy who our babe blew a very spitty 'raspberry' at...although I had to laugh a little to myself at that one!). But we had incredible quality time with loved ones across the country and learned that while sometimes you might feel like you are carrying a bomb on a plane...other times you might feel like Super Mom after a 5 and 1/2 hour plane ride, and gettings 60 lbs. of luggage off the baggage claim by yourself, all while pushing your babe in a stroller. We did it, and it is SO good to be home.

Now here's a way to fly!

Nativity

This is probably going to be my last post of 2012! New emails to the inbox have steadily decreased as Christmas letters to the mailbox have increased. There are no more meetings on my werk calendar and I am werking on my packing lists for our upcoming Christmas travels to see family. We are flying this year, and a few legs of my trip will be just me and baby...so I need to pack SMART. It's a lot different than just cramming things into the jeep and hitting the road, that's for sure!

Along with pumping extra so I have bottles for the plane, I'm trying to find the perfect pair of little black maryjanes for baby's Christmas outfit(s)...and I am waffling between which toy/book/etc. will provide the maximum amount of entertainment on three different plane rides. In the back of my head, I know that our seat companion and the drink napkins will probably win out in the end...

In other NEWS...our sweet babe began to crawl this week! I predicted a few months ago that Lexi would be the reason why she starts crawling and walking...maybe even talking. She adores Lexi and finds her to be extremely entertaining...and around 11:30pm one night this week, baby was wide awake and playing on the floor when Jake noticed she was getting up on her hands and knees. He grabbed the camera so that I could watch the moment with him later. Sure enough, a few tugs and scoots across the living room floor, the sweet babe had made her way to Miss Lexi and received a big wet kiss on the face. Our world is about to completely change again! Time to dig out the outlet covers and reassess our home from the eyes and hands of a 7 month old mover and shaker!

I have often found myself remembering how I was feeling last Christmas, while well into my second trimester. I was comfortably pregnant, we had just had our 18 week ultrasound where we did not find out the sex of the baby (despite the temptation!), and I was bracing myself for weird comments and belly rubs from a host of friends and family in Minnesota. I was also finding myself identifying with the Virgin Mary more than any other time in my life. The knowledge of a beautiful and terrifying miracle growing within you, the incredible feeling of growing and glowing into motherhood, the anticipation of experiencing the greatest and deepest love you have ever known.

While my condition was far from Mary's, and I and I my belly were nestled quite uncomfortably on an air mattress, surrounded by those I love the most...I was and am so very thankful. The gift of life in any form, human or eternal, is the most overwhelming and humbling gift to participate in and to receive. That sweet little Jesus coming to earth as a baby, so that many would know the love of God forever...it's a story and a truth that I will always treasure, and I can't wait to share with my own sweet babe as she grows. This year, her understanding of the nativity is limited to the hard rubbery qualities of the Little People manger scene under the tree as she cuts her teeth on the Angle of the Lord's golden hair and wings...but someday, I hope she knows the same deep joy and love that can only come from the Divine.

SIck Day

Well, aside from my slightly reclusive home.werker lifestyle of leaving the house for church, shopping, or to visit friends...I really have NO clue how or where I picked up the nasty horrible no good stomach bug that violently took up residence in my body on Monday. I might stop shaking hands in church and I might start being more careful about wiping down the carts at the grocery store from now on.

Goodness knows, I never again want to be tossing my cookies every time I stand up or every thirty minutes, or whatever comes first. I also have a new appreciation for women who struggle with morning sickness, and especially mom's with kids who are pregnant again and struggling with morning sickness. I also wish I lived closer to my mom or my sister. You know, the precious few people who can see you in your worst state, your house in a state of chaos, and lovingly tell you to go to bed because they've got it all under control?

Unfortunately, my flu bug hit in the precious few hours when Jake was awake after sleeping off his night shift, and before he had to go to werk again that evening. Tossing my cookies with one hand on the babe on the changing table and the other hand holding the garbage can is not a talent I am looking to perfect...especially since I think it scared the babe!

The biggest thing I realized is that moms do not get sick days. No matter how crummy or incapacitated you are, your babe still needs you. The other big thing I learned is that even my 6 month old gave me a lot of grace on Monday. She took longer naps than usual, entertained herself without demanding that I play with her constantly, and gave me small and sweet little looks of concern and sympathy (I think!) when I most needed them. She could tell mom wasn't quite her normal self and quietly allowed me to werk through the worst of it.

Now we are just praying that bleaching the whole house and washing all of the sheets will keep babe and Jake healthy!

Now here's a guy protecting himself from the flu in style!

10 years

Aside from Thanksgiving and getting the house ready for Christmas, a significant event happened this past weekend...my 10 year high school reunion. During this event on Saturday night, I was a very comfortable 1,700+ miles away...although Facebook still kept me uncomfortable and curiously close to the event.

I dated my best friend from about 9th grade through 11th grade, then I dumped him the summer before senior year because I didn't want to go off to college in a serious relationship. Ever the planner, I gave myself the entire senior year to get over him.

Which, in turn, resulted in me checking out of everything at school except the 5 studio art classes I had carefully planned into my schedule, and a handful of good friendships. Although, those friendships were often more isolating than healthy, as my friends still wanted to do normal high school things like go to parties, prom, and the sr. class trip...which I had absolutely no interest in. It was a pretty lonely year, pining for my future to begin in St. Paul, MN as a freshman at Bethel.

I had given up field hockey, slowly started to gain a little weight, and rushed home every day to sleep a few hours before dinner. Looking back, I'm pretty sure I was mildly depressed. Graduation day was the happiest/saddest of days, as I finally felt released into my future but lamented the loss of people who had 'known' me since I was in kindergarten. That community of close to 1,000 people would never be together again, and there's something kind of sad about that.

Fast forward 10 years= 4 incredibly awesome years of college, life-long friends, world travel, marrying my best friend, two crappy jobs that led to one incredible job and life in CO, and don't forget the dog and our sweet babe! Sitting in my home.werking.chair this morning next to the Christmas tree, still in my PJ's, I have a lot I am so happy about and incredibly thankful for.

But it's the vain things like the weight I have gained since high school, wondering if anyone would want to talk to the intense girl they remember from senior year, and the fact that I have literally stayed in contact with 2...maybe 3 people since graduating...that makes 1,700 miles of distance kind of a weird thing. I honestly doubt I will ever make it to a high school reunion, I always rejected the pressure of having to prove myself in high school, and I'm pretty sure that's how I'd feel at a class of 2002 reunion...mixed with spanx shapewear, nervously applied makeup, and adult beverages.

There are some people it would be fun to reconnect with, but I'm thinking high school reunions, much like prom, are not my scene. College reunions, on the other hand, couldn't come soon enough!

Give me a few hours in the end zone at Bethel's homecoming game, and I'm pretty sure I'd lose my voice from chatting with everyone. And if that's how some people feel about high school reunions...by all means, enjoy it for me! :)

Grateful

As the holiday season descends upon our house, I want to take time to reflect on this past year and the many 'gifts' we have been given...
-The healthy pregnancy, delivery, and new life of our sweet girl. Words often used to describe her are 'bright eyed', 'happy', and 'content'. What more could a mother ask for? I am filled with such true joy when I realize that her happiness is contagious. I have had so many strangers come up to me in a park or at a store and tell me that her smile 'made their day'. What a blessing to be around someone who has the ability to brighten someone's day with a look or a smile...that's my girl!
-My werk situation...to remain employed with a part-time-werk-from-home arrangement is something I never would have dreamed possible a few years ago. I am so grateful for my employer and their desire to keep me on board while I step back a little to care for our family. I try not to take a single day of this opportunity for granted.
-My husband...a sensitive and adventurous friend, a silly and nurturing dad, a hardworking and diligent nurse. He cares for our family with such depth, intention, and love...I feel so fortunate to be sharing life with him.
-Our physical and financial health. These are two areas which make our day to day life less stressful and give us the ability to focus on other things. When I hear of some of Jake's patients and what they are going through, it helps me stop and remember how grateful I am for the physical health of my family. The fact that Jake and I are able to werk in jobs that have purpose, but also provide well is a rare blessing in this difficult economy.
-Last but not least...Lexi! she has transitioned into life as a 'big sister' pretty well, and is learning how to share our affections a little better every day. She turned 4 last week, and it's so hard to remember life before we had her...her antics, unconditional love, and aggressive snuggles are daily gifts to our family.

Well...the babe is sleeping so I better keep decorating...I've been sneaking in Christmas decorations here and there while she naps this week!

Happy Thanksgiving!