Etiquette on the line

As the.home.werker, I sit on many conference calls in a single day.

Here are some things I have learned:
1. The 'hold' music for conference lines is atrocious. If you are hosting a conference call, please try to beat your Guests to the line and spare them some misery.
2. Introductions are helpful. I can't see who is in the room, so please start the meeting or call by letting everyone introduce themselves and their roles. It helps to know a person's voice in the beginning of the call, so you don't need ask who was speaking in the middle of the call. Or better yet, as you speak up, say "This is the.home.werker, and I think.....".
3. Speak up. If you are in a conference room with 5 other people, and I am on a speakerphone...please don't rustle your papers, set your keyboard next to the phone, have your cell phone near the landline, and for pete's sake...no mumbling.
4. Giggling is optional, and rarely communicates professionalism. If you aren't speaking, please don't nervously giggle through an entire meeting. It makes me nervous for you, since I have no idea what you are laughing at and that's all I can hear.
5.  Use the mute button whenever possible, but don't do anything during a call that shouldn't be overheard...should you forget to use the mute button or should it be broken. We don't need to accidentally hear you using the bathroom or chewing your food.

The end.