I had one of my more realistic discussions with my boss today about my upcoming maternity leave, and while he is very flexible and just wants to know what I'm thinking, he touched on the fact that I am already feeling torn. He's so right!
Right now, I feel like the little Dutch boy with his finger plugging up the whole in the dyke, preventing the North Sea from crashing in and flooding his country. Don't know that Hans Brinker story? You should, it's a good one, especially if you're Dutch.
In a few weeks, I am going to have to hand over my responsibilities to other people and trust that they will take them just as seriously while I am out. Because, quite frankly, I don't want to even think about werk for the first month or two of being a new mom.
I know there will come a point at the close of my 6 week 'short term disability leave' that I need to make a decision about how fast/completely I return to werk...or whether I continue to cash out my paid time off hours. And honestly, I just won't know what I want to do until that day comes...so much is up in the air for our little family right now, the one thing I am focusing on is being thankful for a job with benefits that provides for us, supports such a flexible werk environment, and allows me to make decisions in the best interest of my family. Until then, I'm working up my contingency plan for whose finger will do the best job preventing an all out flood in my absence. (Sorry for the weird analogy...but it totally makes sense to me today!)